Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let the clothes fall where they may.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
