If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
