so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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