guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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