Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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