this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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