My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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