im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
