my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
