Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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