He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
