They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
