so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
