Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
