sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
