drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
