You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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