Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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