when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
