I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
