Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
