Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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