I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
