Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
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