i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
