We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
