No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
