So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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