I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
