all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
