what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
