a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
