You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
