Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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