Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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