Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Come see our sink grown plant.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize