We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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