bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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