I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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