Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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