Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize