the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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