fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize