you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
