Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
