Dual....:-)
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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