Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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