i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
