do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
