Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
