david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
