When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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