Pappa wants mamma naked
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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