Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
