when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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