I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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