i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
