Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think my moral compass just broke
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
