also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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