doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
