I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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