suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
