My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
