Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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