I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
