youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
