well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
